I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize