it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
