they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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