JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
