I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
