My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
