thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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