He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
