It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
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Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
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I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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