I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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