that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
