I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
