i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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