windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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