the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
