i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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