im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
