I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
