do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
