"it" just moved
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
