my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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