He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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