I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
