I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
