i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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