I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
