New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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