fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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