dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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