He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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