Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
