She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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