he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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