the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
