Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There's even glitter on my cock...
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