If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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