Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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