so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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