So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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