WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
