I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
