i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
