I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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