this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
