my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
