The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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