Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
