After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
