Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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