Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
