Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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