butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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