when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
