Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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