you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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